so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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