Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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