the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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