I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
