Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
