thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
