peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
