There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
