I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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