I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
