Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
