like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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