Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
