Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
