As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
