Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
