Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Say something about gay babies.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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