I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
