its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I intend to get homeless drunk
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
