do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
