I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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