hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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