Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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