Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
