Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
