actually, I'm a sock model
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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