it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
