You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
