small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize