U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
