I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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