We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
