We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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