What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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