just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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