They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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