Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
