It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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