I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
