The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
