I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she peed on how many people?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
