sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
