He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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