We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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