Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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