google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
