there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
