He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
