Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i drank out of a bidet.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Randomize
