If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
