I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
sex in a hospital.. check
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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