just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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