remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
