so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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