i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
