i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
