the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
