bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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