I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
handjob tips. give me some.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
