when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
