do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
