I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
