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Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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