There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We need to rekindle our bromance
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
