WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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