I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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