so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
